


The Miraculously Idiotic Adventures of Kuro Inu and Shiro Neko

by luckystars1015



Series: GinHiji Novelettes [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Crack... unless???, Hero!AU, M/M, Miraculous Ladybug Spoof, Mistaken Identity, Multi-verse!AU, Mutual Pining, Parody, Slow Burn, Superhero!AU, hidden identities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-16 11:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21270545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckystars1015/pseuds/luckystars1015
Summary: By night, Hijikata and Gintoki don their vigilante identities, Kuro Inu and Shiro Neko, and fight off the invasion of Amanto in Tokyo. Except these superheroes have no idea that they are bitter rivals in their civilian life.Join Hijikata and Gintoki as they navigate a whirlwind of hilarious misunderstandings and juggle their work and superhero lives.





	1. Chapter 1

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Hijikata says, his words dripping with disdain. Before him stands the bane of his existence, a white-haired private detective who always managed to get the scoop on impossible cases. 

“How’s life working behind a desk, government dog?” Gintoki shoots back, but with much less venom. Truth be told, the only thing he likes more than a cup of coffee with four sugars is this bittersweet hunk manning the front of the police station. “Call the commander and tell him Gintoki-sama is here with a new bust on the Amanto smuggling case.”

“I will NOT be calling you ‘Gintoki-sama’!” Hijikata’s forehead vein is this close to bursting. How does this unprofessional buffoon come swaggering in here like he owns the station while Hijikata is stuck finding lost handbags and getting cats out of trees?

“Aww, are you too shy to call me that at work? Maybe you’ll call me that over dinner tonight.” Gintoki adds an extra incentive to his offer by wiggling his eyebrows. 

Hijikata is _ this _ close to spitting on this white-haired pompous ass’s face, but he takes a deep breath. The last thing he wants to be is fired for attacking a civilian. Eventually, he calms himself down enough to jam his finger into the receiver and calls Kondo, notifying him of the private detective’s arrival. 

Sougo looks over at the fuming Hijikata with bored apathy. “What’s got your panties in a twist?”

Hijikata ignores the inappropriate remark and replies, “how come that idiot gets all the good cases? We spend years at the police academy and yet our biggest priority is catching that damned umbrella thief in Kabukicho!” 

His cohort shrugs his shoulders. “Not really our fault. We’re new recruits, and there’s a bunch of old geezers lounging around in their office, not really looking to be booted out of their comfy desk chairs. All we can do is wait.”

But Hijikata does not want to wait. He has dreams of where he could take this organization, changes he wants to apply for the good of the community. Yet he’s stuck to the desk as another pencil pusher. It was the most frustrating thing in this world. Here was Gintoki, barely one year his senior, getting the highest-profile cases. This feral street cat, who had come prancing around the streets, barely had any formal education, but he had better instincts than most of the force. It just doesn’t seem fair. Hijikata has poured blood, sweat, and tears to claw his way to this position, yet Gintoki came cruising into the commander’s office on a hoverboard. Sougo can confirm that! He actually did pull that stunt last week!

Hijikata sighs and sits back down in his seat, filling out paperwork til the sun sets. When he finally exits the building, he walks for a while before he ducks into a deserted alley. The police officer pulls out a pair of metallic black dog tags from under his shirt. 

“It’s time for the claws to come out! Howl, Kurotsuki!” A black wolf manifests from the dog tag and howls at the moon. Within moments, Hijikata is no more. He is now Kuro Inu, a vigilante superhero of the night. 

Hijikata dons a billowing black samurai outfit with a long black blindfold around his eyes. His eyesight is not removed, however. Rather, his vision is enhanced as he can see through the mask and detect even the slightest movement. His weapon is a lance that can extend towards the sky. 

It might seem paradoxical that a police by day is a vigilante hero by night. But as Kuro Inu, he can do much more for the city than an officer at the bottom of the food chain. Hijikata leaps to the top of the building and peers into the city landscape. Kurotsuki, his trusty companion, follows quickly. Its silky black fur shines under the moonlight as its green eyes peer into the night. The city had stolen the light from the stars above and created a mesmerizing ocean of lights. But the hero was not here to sightsee. A blood-curdling scream rang throughout the streets of Tokyo.

“Hijikata-sama,” the wolf barked in a deep voice. “Over there by Tokyo Tower!”

“Got it, thanks, Kurotsuki.” Hijikata sprinted across rooftops to the red glittering tower in the center of the city.

When he arrived, he saw a white figure already battling in the fray. The mysterious stranger was no other than Shiro Neko, known to the city as the “Demon Vanquisher” for his feats. Shiro Neko was Kuro Inu’s opposite, clad in a white ninja uniform. He had a white mask covering the bottom half of his face. The only color on his form was a golden bell at the base of his neck. His choice of weaponry was a sword. Except his was a sakabato, a rare and elusive reverse blade sword. Shiro Neko’s mission was to protect life. Kuro Inu’s was to destroy it. Yet somehow, these two vigilantes work harmoniously to defend Tokyo from the disastrous attacks from the Amanto. 

“Look, Shiroyasha, the lone wolf has finally joined us,” Shiro Neko says to his own familiar, a white lion with glistening topaz eyes. 

Hijikata let his actions speak for himself as he slashes the Amanto’s firebombs into oblivion. It appears that the Amanto this time has possessed a fireworks maker. The man was a human no more as he transformed into a giant Amanto able to crush cars under its sheer weight. The fireworks engineer made it his mission to climb to the top of Tokyo Tower to shoot off the world’s biggest fireball. Except such a thing would spell disaster for the city as a rain of fire would soon follow. 

The Amanto wails mournfully at its destroyed creations. “How dare you destroy my beautiful fire babies? Now how will Mayumi-chan know that I love her?!” 

Hijikata scoffs in disdain. Why are the Amanto demontizing lovesick fools more often than not? 

“Shiro Neko, where is its cursed object?” He yells at the white-haired hero on the other side of the street.

“I think it’s in his smoking pipe, but I can’t get to it without a dozen fireballs coming my way!” 

“Kurotsuki and I will distract the Amanto and clear a way for you and Shiroyasha.” Shiro Neko nods and gives the go signal. 

“Kurotsuki, bite his leg while I go in from the side,” Hijikata commands his companion. The Amanto yelps in pain as the black wolf’s sharp fangs dig into his calf. He begins throwing fireworks left and right, the explosions blinding everyone in its near vicinity. But this is no problem for the blindfolded Kuro Inu. He slices of the wicks of the remaining explosives save one. With the leftover firework, he throws it to the Amanto’s face, knocking its pipe out of its mouth. 

“Shiro Neko, NOW!” Hijikata screams as he bats the pipe to the white-clad ninja. Shiro Neko wastes no time in destroying it with his blunt blade. A white light manifests out of its broken pieces and returns to the once Amanto, purifying him back into a human. 

Kuro Inu feels pride burgeoning inside of him he has helped Shiro Neko save Tokyo for another day. The white-masked hero walks over to Hijikata. But the black-clad samurai spares no haste in leaving as quickly as he arrived. The vigilante shrouded in darkness does not say another word before he sprints into the shadows with his canine companion. Shiro Neko sighs as he watches the retreating figure of his so-called partner. For some reason, that guy could barely stand the thought of interacting with him outside a battle. He just shows up and leaves whenever he pleases. 

The ninja walks into an empty building and detransform. “Shiroyasha, white out.” His ivory clothes dissipate into his civilian clothes, a white yukata with blue swirls wrapping around the sleeves. His sakabato transforms back to its original form: a wooden bokken. 

“That Kuro Inu does not seem to like you, Gintoki-sama.” His lion familiar shrinks back down into a white cat with lazy eyes. He readily jumps into Gintoki’s arms as his master gives him an annoyed look. “What, did you expect me to _ walk _ home? The audacity of such a thought.”

Gintoki rolls his eyes. What a spoiled familiar. He hums in wonder. “Maybe Kuro Inu is worried I will find out his secret identity the more I talk to him. But I doubt I know someone as silent and brooding as him. A statue must have birthed him.” However, a part of him was curious about what lay behind the blindfold. 

A brief image of black hair and blue eyes flashes in his mind and Gintoki’s cheeks grow a little hot. As if Hijikata could _ ever _ be Kuro Inu. He was the antithesis of quiet and taciturn. That man would waste no time in yelling obscenities at Gintoki the moment his superior was out of earshot. 

Hijikata rushes back to his apartment before his powers disappear due to the time constraints. “Kurotsuki, black out!” He commands once he is in the safety of his apartment. The black wolf morphs back into its normal form: a black pint-sized shiba inu that was no more imposing than a bean. 

“Why do you insist on acting like such a _ tsundere _ around your hero? Aren’t you a grown man?” Kurotsuki admonishes. 

Hijikata shakes his head, still unnerved that such a deep and booming voice could belong to a Shiba Inu as cute as Kurotsuki was. “How do you know that word?! Aren’t you supposed to be some millennia-old guardian spirit?”

“What do you think I do all day when you’re at work? The anime channel is the only thing that piques my interest. You should follow the sage advice of Sailor Moon. Your love will only bear fruit when you--”

Hijikta blocks out the rest of Kurotsuki’s words by shoving his head under a pillow. He has no energy left to deal with his dog chewing him out for his lack of a love life. Soon enough, he is lulled into a deep sleep filled with white. 


	2. Chapter 2

As Kuro Inu, Hijikata moves through the darkness like fish swimming in water. It is second nature to him now, meandering through these shadows. Tonight has been peaceful. There are no Amanto wreaking havoc through the streets of Tokyo. 

A desperate meow catches his attention. Kuro Inu stops in his tracks and swings down towards a rustling tree on the sidewalk. His wolf, Kurotsuki, stops in his tracks. “What’s wrong, Master?”

“I think there’s a cat stuck in the tree.”

Kurotsuki snorts in amusement at his master’s strange tendencies. 

“Shut up, Kurotsuki. I can’t help that I developed a natural instinct since my job sends me out in missions like this everyday. Can you take a few steps back so you don’t scare the cat?”

The wolf obeys as he watches his master stand on his toes to part the branches. Hijikata discovers a white long-haired cat with gleaming yellow eyes. 

“Here, kitty kitty,” Hijikata tries his best to make cooing noises. When that doesn’t work, he reaches into his pockets to find a fresh packet of wet cat food. The moment he tears it open, the cat jumps into his arms, almost toppling him due to its sudden force. The masked vigilante hero ruffles its soft fur and looks for a collar. He scratches its chin as it purrs in delight. A collar with a golden bell and name tag hangs around its neck. The tag reads “Sakata G.” on one side. 

The name sparks a sense of familiarity. Where has he heard it before? He flipped the tag on the other side. “Let’s see. So your name is Shiro—“

“Oiiiiii! You mangy fur ball! Where are you? I bought your super deluxe pudding!! Hurry up so I can trans—Kuro Inu?” Sakata Gintoki stops dead in his tracks as he looks at his vigilante partner holding his cat in his arms. This night could not get any weirder. 

“Gi—I mean who are you, civilian?” Hijikata says as if he were some robot cop. Already, he was sweating buckets, worried that Gintoki would figure out who he was. 

“Sakata Gintoki, at your service.” He extends a hand to shake, but Hijikata does not return the gesture. Gintoki shrugs. He expects as much any how. 

“Hey, aren’t you Shiro Neko’s sidekick?” Gintoki asks casually. 

“_ Sidekick?!” _ Hijikata was this close to bursting a vein. Gintoki’s eyebrows shoot up, not expecting Kuro Inu to be so...explosive. Every time he interacted with him as Shiro Neko, the man would barely utter a breath, much less anything akin to emotions. This is getting interesting. 

“I am _ not _ his sidekick. We save Tokyo as equals!” 

“Calm down there, little puppy,” Gintoki teased, liking this easily riled version of Kuro Inu much more. An explosion a block away interrupts Gintoki’s playful teasing. 

Kuro Inu waste no time getting Gintoki to safety, no matter how much the civilian gets on his nerves. Gintoki is suddenly whisked away in the vigilante’s arms as he uses his staff to reach the roof of the closest building. Gintoki, through no will of his own, discovers how well built Kuro Inu is under his loose clothing. Wowza, this body is not meant to be hidden in the shadows. 

“I need you to stay here until the Amanto’s gone. Don’t go sneaking off anywhere.”

“Why do you think I would do something like that?” Gintoki is affronted that Kuro Inu would assume that of him since he’s technically only just met him. He could practically see Kuro Inu rolling his eyes under the blindfold. 

“It was a lucky guess.” Kuro Inu knows that a private detective like Gintoki would stop at nothing to get a good scoop. “But seriously, I can’t fight that Amanto unless I know you’re safe.” For some reason, that comment made Gintoki’s flush like a furnace. He knew that logically, Kuro Inu meant this about civilians in general, but he couldn’t help attributing the words to him. 

Just as Kuro Inu is about to leave, the villain-of-the-week Amanto appears out of thin air. “I found you, Kuro Inu! Now, give me your Miraculous,” referring to his magical dog tags that were the source of his powers. 

Kuro Inu recognizes that voice! That was Harada from the police station! How did the man get demontized? Before he could take another step, the Amanto threw a pair of magical handcuffs at his and Gintoki’s direction. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Kuro Inu yells as he holds up his handcuffed hands to his worst enemy! Both of his hands were officially incapacitated as they were chained to Gintoki’s own. 

“Hahahaha! Good luck getting out of that one, Kuro Inu! Any careless mistake you make would risk the life of that worthless civilian!” Kuro Inu agreed with worthless, but he didn’t want Gintoki’s life out of all people to hang over his head. He looked to his spear out of his reach. Even if he got ahold of it, he would risk destroying their hands as well as the chains. Kurotsuki is on the rooftop next to him, awaiting his master’s command. But his wolf’s fangs and claws would be useless against this fully armored Amanto. 

Gintoki inwardly cursed a thunderstorm. ‘Shit! I can’t transform without revealing my secret identity!’

“Where the hell is Shiro Neko?” Kuro Inu whispered desperately under his breath. “If I’m the one who destroys his cursed object, then he’ll lose his soul.” That is the nature of their powers. 

Gintoki looks at Kuro Inu intensely. Even though he isn’t in his hero costume and doesn’t have all his powers, he’s fought alongside Kuro Inu more than enough times. “Kuro Inu, don’t take me out of the count. I can help you. We can use him to break these handcuffs.” 

Kuro Inu is surprised about Gintoki’s surge of confidence. But why should he be? It was Gintoki after all. Hijikata couldn’t have had a better rival. They ready their stance. “Charge!!” Gintoki screams. They dash toward the Amanto in synchronized steps and try to tackle the villain. But Harada, the Bald Amanto, figures as much and uses his shiny head to blind them. Harada jumps upwards to let the two blind numbskills run themselves off the roof, but Hijikata is unaffected by such a tactic. He commands Gintoki to jump just as the evildoer is above them. Gintoki’s foot lands smack dab in the Amanto’s face and the villain screams in agony. Kuro Inu inwardly marvels as how in sync he and Gintoki were, as if they had done this a hundred times before. And how is Gintoki able to perform such dexterous feats like jumping almost eight feet in the air? All he sees that bastard intake is strawberry milk. 

The Amanto is not going down without a fight, however. The two battle long and hard but with little luck. The Amanto’s defenses are too high and Kuro Inu can do little with neither his weapon nor Shiro Neko by his side. Both the men’s movements grow sluggish, Gintoki more so since he was not adorned in his vigilante guise. Harada smiles wickedly; he’s got Kuro Inu just where he wants him. The hero is unable to fight back or retreat with the civilian dragging him down. He pulls out his final weapon. “Who says you can’t bring a gun to a sword fight?!” He aims it at Gintoki. 

The shot rings clear through the air, but Kuro Inu leaps in front of the man to protect him with his body. Kuro Inu falls limply onto Gintoki. Although the bullet had not lodged inside his body, it slices through his side, and blood angrily spilled out of the open wound. The dark hero’s breathing is labored as he pushes out his final words before falling unconscious, “I’m sorry… I couldn’t protect you… Gintoki.”

For the first time in a long time, rage tears through him like a lightning strike. Red creeps in from the corner of his eyes as he feels nothing fury pumping his veins. Although his duty to the city was to protect each and every citizen, all he wishes is to make this Amanto pay for hurting his partner. 

“SHIROYASHA!!” His white cat manifests in front of him. 

“Master, I think you need to calm down before you—“

“ROAR!!” The activation words have been said, and there is no going back. The golden bell on his jade bracelet rings and blinding light emerges. Within the blink of an eye, Gintoki has now transformed into Shiro Neko, masked ninja extraordinaire.

Before he sets his eyes on the Amanto, he kneels down to scan Kuro Inu’s body. His partner was losing too much blood. He charges his sword enough just so that the weapon was hot to the touch. This is really amateur first aid, but it’ll have to do. He presses the hot metal on the wound, burning the skin closed and stopping the bleeding. It is a bastardized cauterization, but it should last long enough to defeat the villain and reverse the damage. He picks up Kuro Inu’s unconscious form gingerly, careful not to cause anymore damage. 

Once finished, Shiro Neko looks back at the Amanto with blood red eyes. Even the villain doesn’t need his enemy to spell it out for him. The Amanto was now prey and officially done for. Not even a scream escapes his lips by the time Shiro Neko is done with him. 

A glowing gold butterfly manifests from the once Amanto. Shiro Neko knows that symbol too well. “You’ve gone too far this time, Takasugi.” The golden insect attempts to fly back to its master in hiding, but Shiro Neko does not allow it. He commands Shiroyasha to eat his prey. Within moments, everything is returned to normal. The destruction of the city is reversed and the handcuff chaining him to Kuro Inu is gone. He gently lays Kuro Inu down to rest on the rooftop. Although it seemed everything had gone back to normal, Shiro Neko noticed that the wound had not reverse. He had healed it for the most part with his powers, but a tender scar still remains. He looks carefully at Kuro Inu’s face and sees a strained expression, showing that he still felt the pain. 

Just when Shiro Neko was about to come closer to try and heal the wound, Kurotsuki barrels into him and separates his fallen master from the white-haired hero. Shiroyasha growls, taking offense to Kurotsuki’s attack. “What are you doing, you mutt! My master was only trying to help yours!”

Kurotsuki bares his teeth in warning. “Kuro Inu-sama is about to transform back.”

Shiro Neko looks passively back at the wolf baring its fangs to protect his master. “You already know my secret identity.”

“My duty is to protect his, not yours. But you have my word I will speak nothing of it to him.”

“Be that as it may, your master might not last the night. I need to keep an eye on him to make sure his injury is stable. Look, I promise I only have your master’s best interest at heart. I don’t care who’s hiding behind the mask.” To make his point, he detransforms and takes off his white yukata, throwing it over Kuro Inu’s body, making sure to hide his face. 

“My apartment is only a few blocks away. The both of you can stay at my place tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch and you can stay inside my bedroom to protect him and explain everything when he wakes up.”

Kurotsuki reluctantly nods, understanding that his master’s life was more important than anything else right now. He allows Gintoki to maneuver Kuro Inu’s on top of his own large wolf form, so he can carry him back to his apartment. 

True to his word, Gintoki does not try once to discover who his master was. If Kurotsuki detects any change, he will call for the hero at once, but his master slept peacefully throughout the night. 

As the sun rises, Hijikata rises with it. He awakes to a foreign place. “What’s going on?” He is greeted by a long wet lick by his beloved guardian, Kurotsuki in his Shiba Inu form. 

“Master! You’re awake!”

“Kurotsuki!? Where am I? The last I remember, the Amanto had shot me—“ Hijikata twists to check for any wounds, and he immediately groans in pain, finding a nasty bruise on his right side. A tender, red scar accompanies the bruise blossoming along his ribs. 

“How am I still alive?” He asks perplexed. 

“Shiro Neko-sama came to your rescue at the last second. He healed your wounds and left you in the care of Gintoki.” Kurotsuki felt bad lying to his master like this, but a promise was a promise. Plus, he was _ technically _telling the truth. 

Hijikata wants to fall inside a hole. “Does that mean Shiro Neko _ and _Gintoki discovered my true identity?”

“No! Shiro Neko left before he saw anything and Gintoki understood how important a secret identity is to a superhero, so he covered your face with his yukata.”

While Hijikata grimaces at the fact that _ anything _ of Gintoki’s touched him, much less his face, he is grateful nonetheless. 

“Come on, let’s transform and leave before he wakes up. Howl, Kurotsuki!” Now as Kuro Inu once again, Hijikata jumps out the window with his trusty companion and returns to his home undetected. 

Gintoki remains seated outside his own door, curiosity screaming to open it to get a glance to who Kuro Inu could have been. But thankfully, he was stronger than his desire. Curiosity didn’t kill the cat after all. 

He tries to think hard about Kuro Inu’s voice. Something about it was so… familiar, but it felt like trying to recall something from a dream. He knows that it was impossible with the magical veneer that the guardian spirit casted over their wards. Shiroyasha has the same effect, making sure no one could connect Shiro Neko to Gintoki. 

He looks down forlornly to the cat in his arms. “Shiroyasha, is it possible to fall in love with two people at once?”

Said cat jumps out of his arms without remorse. “We can discuss that over a cup of deluxe coffee pudding.” Gintoki sighs and lugs his lovesick ass off the floor. 


	3. Chapter 3

Hijikata winced as he puts on the top layer of his police uniform, remembering his wound from yesterday. It was a miracle he was back at work so soon after a gunshot injury, but his Miraculous powers helped speed up the recovery. 

Sougo looked over from his locker and quirked an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, um, I got hit real bad at my kendo match yesterday.” Making these little white lies was getting a bit easier. 

“Really? Someone pulled a fast one on you, the Demon Vice President of the club?” Sougo stepped past Hijikata’s locker on his way to the door. Suddenly, he noticed something strange. Hijikata was always such a private person, yet he had a picture taped to his locker. “Is that… Shiro Neko?”

“What?! No!” Hard to lie out of this one when the evidence was literally right in front of him. It was an old newspaper clipping of one of Shiro Neko’s first feats as a superhero back in the day. 

Sougo, being the brat he was, took a picture on his cell phone as future blackmail material. He ran out of the room with evidence in hand with Hijikata close behind. They end up at the front of the police station, Sougo behind the counter and Hijikata in front of it. 

“Delete that picture, NOW!” Hijikata commanded to deaf ears. With the man’s rotten luck, Gintoki walked through the door at that moment. 

“What’s up, beautiful,” Gintoki whispered in Hijikata’s left ear, as he wrapped his hand around his side, right where the officer’s fresh wound was. The black-haired man winced as his knees give out to the pain that stabbed his side, but Gintoki caught him before his knees hit the floor. 

Gintoki threw away his casual demeanor and pulled Hijikata closer to steady him. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yea, it’s fine, you just touched a new injury I got from my kendo match. The sword got my side pretty badly.”

Gintoki tensed, remembering the rage he felt when Kuro Inu had gotten injured, the blood seeping from his wound in the same location. 

Sougo quickly brought the two back to earth with another snap of the camera. He held up a picture of Gintoki and Hijikata clinging tightly to each other as if nothing else existed. One could easily see the worry flooding Gintoki’s eyes. Despite himself, Gintoki asked “how much for that picture?”

“For you, Danna, absolutely free,” Sougo said just as he sent him the glorious picture. 

“Hey!! You can’t do that!” Hijikata yelled out, feeling like a kid about to throw a tantrum. 

“Guess what else,” Sougo said, ignoring his coworker, “Hijikata has a picture of Shiro Neko taped to the inside of his locker like a schoolgirl.”

A Cheshire cat-like smile stretched across Gintoki’s face. “_ Really _?”

“Does someone have a crush on Shiro Neko?” He looked impishly at Hijikata’s blushing figure. This day could not get any better. 

“No!” Hijikata lied. Avoiding any eye contact, he said “I just respect him a lot! He’s the reason why I became a police officer!” Frustrated, he pushed shocked Gintoki away. 

Gintoki was genuinely taken aback by such an earnest confession. This was the first time he had seen Hijikata beyond his typical stiff and awkward personality he portrayed all the time. 

“I was a delinquent back in the day, but Shiro Neko heroic acts inspired me to do better,” Hijikata grunted while his voice filled with soft nostalgia. Gintoki felt like cupid’s arrow had struck his heart, making him bleed from the inside out. The reason the man felt so drawn towards Hijikata was due to how committed he was to his duty as a police officer. Even though Hijikata was one of the lower ranks, he put his heart and soul into fulfilling his duties. Gintoki had witness Hijikata helping kids walk across streets and getting cats out of trees. He had even seen the man lead a full-on investigation for the umbrella thief. But to find out the reason Hijikata was ever so dutiful was because of Gintoki’s alter ego, Shiro Neko? That made Gintoki feel like he was going to barf butterflies. 

Sougo hummed before seeing the odd look Gintoki was giving the oblivious Hijikata. “Do you have a fever, Danna? Your face is all red.”

Suddenly, Kondo appeared out of the blue and scared everyone in the near vicinity with his gorilla-like presence. “Gintoki-san! What brings you here to the station?” He welcomed the man in a boisterous voice, as he dragged him into the office. 

Hijikata glared at their retreating figures with suspicion. What kind of top-secret information did Gintoki have all the time and how did he get his hands on it?

Sougo whispered to Hijikata, getting his attention. “Word on the street is that Shiro Neko is Gintoki’s informant.”

“What?! How could a lazy bum like him know such a great hero?!!” Hijikata was absolutely furious at the prospect. “Shiro Neko would hang out with much more distinguished allies.”

———

Kondo gleaned the photos in front of him. “This is a very serious accusation, Gintoki-san.”

“I’ve—Shiro Neko and I have been analyzing the evidence for months. It wasn’t until my last battle with the Amanto that we put two and two together. The golden butterfly that flies away every time the monster is defeated is the symbol of the Takasugi family.”

The police commander took in another breath, trying to digest the information. “The Takasugi family has overseen Tokyo for centuries. Takasugi Shinsuke is the current governor of this city! What would someone like that have to benefit from the destruction of Tokyo?”

“He wants something—the Miraculous powers of Shiro Neko and Kuro Inu, and he would stop at nothing to get them.”

“I’m sorry, Gintoki-san, but I can’t authorize an investigation without further evidence than pure conjecture, even from the treasured savior of Tokyo.”

Gintoki sighed, predicting as such. He couldn’t reveal more without divulging his own role in all of this. His secret identity and even his life would be put in jeopardy if anyone found out his true connection to Takasugi. 

“I know you’re doing the best you can, Kondo-san. I’ll try to get you more evidence. I knew the best thing I could do for now was to at least warn you.”

“Thank you, Gintoki-san. Best of luck to you,” Kondo said as he watched the man exit his office. 

————

Shiro Neko chased the city lights across rooftops, looking for any trouble. Wherever there was trouble, Kuro Inu was almost always in the midst. He needed to share what he discovered about the Amanto with the hero. But his partner was nowhere to be found tonight. Perhaps, he was still resting from his injury. For the first time, Shiro Neko had an intense desire to know who his partner really was behind the mask. Before this, he considered him to be nothing more than associates who didn’t need to know each other to defeat monsters on the battlefield. But now, he would give anything to visit Kuro Inu to check to see if he was okay. 

The feline hero was just about to call it a night and detransform when he saw a familiar black-haired figure standing on a balcony. For a split second, he thought it was Kuro Inu, but instead, it turned out to be Hijikata. Something akin to joy surged through him. 

Just as he was about to greet Hijikata, his tiger familiar reared its disapproving head out. Shiroyasha was at his side, judging him. “Need I remind you that your job as Shiro Neko is to protect the citizens of Tokyo, not to flirt with them. You can’t use your powers or identity for your own selfish desires.”

“You once had me use my powers to get first in line for an ice cream bucket giveaway at Baskin Robbins, so don’t you dare pull that duty crap on me.” Shiroyasha harrumphed in anger but admitted its defeat. He settled down on the roof as he watched his master make his way towards the black-haired man like a lovesick puppy. 

“My, my, my. What have we here?” Shiro Neko jumped onto the railing of the balcony, balancing on it with his feet and hands, much like a cat. 

“Shi-Shiro Neko?!”

“The one and only,” Shiro Neko purred. 

“What are you doing here?!” Hijikata wanted to run, but he couldn’t even if he had tried. His heart hammered in his chest, wondering if Shiro Neko had somehow put two and two together and figured out that Kuro Inu and he were the same person. 

“I was looking for Kuro Inu, but I couldn’t find him tonight. I just happened upon your balcony and decided to visit my number one fan. My, uh, pal Gintoki told me you were a bit under the weather, and a visit from me would help you recover.” 

Hijikata blushed like a whole battalion threw tomatoes at his face. He was barely able to get out any words in front of his most admired hero. An awkward silence fell upon the two. 

Shiro Neko was surprised at this new Hijikata that he was seeing. Usually, the Hijikata at the station turned sour the moment he saw Gintoki and would waste no time in insulting the man from head to toe. He was acting so quiet and shy, much like some other black-haired man he was quite familiar with. Could it be? Was Hijikata really a full-fledged tsundere? That would explain why the man was redder than Mars with a mouth gaping like a goldfish. He smiled inwardly at this new revelation. Now, all he wanted to do was to frequently tease Hijikata dressed as Shiro Neko, but he knew that Shiroyasha would have none of it. 

The feline hero decided to end the silence himself. He scanned the area, looking for any topic of discussion. Noticing the still-lit cigarette in between Hijikata’s fingers, he asked the obvious. “Oh, you smoke?”

Hijikata returned from his euphoria induced paralysis from meeting his hero on his balcony. “Oh, um, yes. I don’t smoke wherever I’m in uniform, lest I set a bad example for the kids.” He was referring to both his job as a police officer and Kuro Inu. He knew firsthand how impressionable kids were since he was inspired to pursue a path of justice due to Shiro Neko. 

Shiro Neko would have thrown caution to the wind and pull down his mask right then to kiss Hijikata smack dab on the lips if it weren’t for a loud roar interrupting their rendezvous. “Shit, as always, these Amanto have impeccable timing.”

“Sorry, but duty calls.” He whistled to Shiroyasha and left Hijikata alone on his balcony with nothing more than a wink. Hijikata was still dumbfounded that this was the first time Shiro Neko had interacted with him with no mask on. Well, at least he managed to form a sentence that was more than five words, which was way better than what he usually did as Kuro Inu. He replayed the wink in his mind. He never thought the serious Shiro Neko could be so… flirtatious—like another white-haired individual that he knew. Before he could follow that train of thought, Kurotsuki headbutted him to bring him back to reality. 

“Master! There’s an Amanto attack!”

“What? Oh! That’s right! Sorry about that.” He ran inside his apartment to shield his transformation from prying eyes. “Howl, Kurotsuki!”

—————

Kuro Inu announced his arrival by stabbing the Amanto in its side with his spear. He jumped backward, putting distance between him and the monster as it lashed out in pain. Shiro Neko drew in closer to Kuro Inu. “Hey, are you sure you’re good enough to fight with your wound?”

The canine hero flushed with having Shiro Neko at such close proximity. He gave a curt nod as his response. Shiro Neko nodded at his taciturn ally. 

“The cursed object is the blades underneath her shoes. Looks like she was an ice skater or something. But I can’t get anywhere near them without risking my neck being sliced off. She’s too fast.”

“So we just have to knock her off his feet,” suggested Kuro Inu. Shiro Neko nodded, wondering what kinda plan his partner had in store for them. 

“I’ll create a diversion for you.” Kuro Inu suddenly charged at the Amanto with his spear, but the Amanto simply jumped and countered with her own blade. She landed a couple of feet away near the edge of the building. The canine superhero threw his spear at his target, but the deft villain dodged by moving her head two inches to the right. Just as she was about to mock Kuro Inu for his slow hand, the superhero commanded Kurotsuki to lunge at the monster, pushing her off the building. Her limbs were flying through the air, desperate to grab hold of anything. Gintoki took this opportunity to break the blade of her skates, returning the ice skater back to normal. 

Shiro Neko commanded at his familiar to catch the woman before she fell to her death. Shiroyasha landed deftly on his feet with the woman on his back. Slowly, she gained consciousness, not remembering her phase as a villain, and running away at the sight of a huge tiger on the modern-day streets of Tokyo. 

“Looks like we did it again, Kuro Inu.” He held out his fist for the universal fist bump request. “Pound it!” 

Before Kuro Inu could respond, he heard the creaking of a pillar holding up the huge billboard sign behind them. “Watch out!” He barreled into Gintoki, wrapping his arms around him protectively and rolling away from the falling billboard threatening to flatten them. The pillar must have taken a hit from one of the villain’s earlier attacks. 

As the dust settled, Shiro Neko tried with difficulty to take a deep breath as he was buried in Kuro Inu’s chest. A familiar scent punched him in the gut. 

It was the smell of cigarettes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: This one is pretty tame, but there's forced kissing starting with "Back?! When did..." and ends with "Suddenly, a shocked..."

Gintoki nervously paced around his apartment as his cat lazily watched him from the couch. “Everybody in this magical transformation world has dumb bitch disease!!” He yelled as his hands dug into his hair, trying to pull his locks out in frustration. 

“How the hell did it take me so long to realize that Hijikata was Kuro Inu?!” It was so obvious now in hindsight. Even though their physical resemblance was identical, their personalities really took him for a spin. He realized now that Kuro Inu was so quiet around him because he was nervous. But his true personality came out as Hijikata when he was talking—more like screaming at Gintoki. 

“Shiroyasha,” he looked like a mad man yelling at his cat, “is Kuro Inu’s secret identity Hijikata?!”

The cat yawned as he replied with a lack of enthusiasm. “I can neither confirm nor deny that.” It was a guardian’s utmost duty to protect his master’s identity. But now that Gintoki had figured out the truth, the magical veneer that surrounded Kuro Inu’s aura would dissolve, allowing him to figure out the truth either way. 

Gintoki knew the cat wouldn’t give him a straight answer, but he didn’t need one. His back hit the wall as he slid down to the floor. His hands came to his face, shrouding his vision in darkness. “I can’t believe I fell for him twice…” said the hopelessly lovestruck fool.

————

It had been a couple of days since the last Amanto sighting. Kuro Inu briefly thought back to how weirdly Shiro Neko shoved him off when he had protected him from the falling billboard. Had he not like the fact that Kuro Inu had touched him? The hero quickly shook his head of such thoughts. No help thinking about such things on his patrol. The sun hung high in the sky as Kuro Inu stood on top of a building overlooking the busy streets of Tokyo. He had a day off today, so like any busybody, he decided to work at his second job instead of actually taking a breather. 

A flash of white entered his vision and suddenly Shiro Neko was by his side. “Yo… what is up, my dude?”

Kuro Inu almost fell off the roof he had jumped on. Why the fuck was Shiro Neko talking like some kind of awkward stoner?

“Is something wrong, Shiro Neko?” 

Shiro Neko inwardly sighed. So much for acting nonchalant. The disguised Gintoki didn’t know how to approach Kuro Inu knowing that the hero was Hijikata. Should he tell him he figured it out? Should he reveal his identity as well?

Before he could decide on the next course of action, a black figure barreled into him. He would have landed painfully on the street if it had not been for Kuro Inu grabbing his hand at the last second to pull him up. 

Both the heroes looked at the snarling beast with apprehension. It was some kind of mutated bull with glowing red eyes. For some reason, its left horn had been cut clean off. “I’ve never seen an Amanto like that,” remarked Kuro Inu. 

Since it was typically up to Shiro Neko to separate a human from its Amanto parasite, he tried to feel for the beast’s aura. “Is it even an Amanto at this point? Or even human? I don’t feel any kind of human energy from it.”

“You’re saying this thing hadn’t been demonized?“

“Kuro Inu, it’s kinda looking at you weird?” Shiro Neko said as he noticed that the bull-like beast seemed more agitated as Kuro Inu spoke, scratching its hoof against the ground. The two were made aware of a sizable golden bell around its collar as it rang with each movement of the bull. 

“What are you talking ab—“ Before the black-haired samurai could finish his sentence, the beast charged at him with all of its might. Kuro Inu narrowly dodged and jumped to another rooftop. But as his foot touched the ground, a portal opened and the monster suddenly appeared right in front of him. Its deadly horns would have pierced the man through the chest, but Shiro Neko grabbed Kuro Inu in the nick of time. 

“That thing can fucking teleport?!” Shiro Neko dragged his partner by his collar while he jumped across buildings. “What the hell did you do to piss it off?!”

“How the hell would I know?!! This is the first time I’ve ever seen this hellish monster!” Kuro Inu yelled in confusion as the bull gave chase. Every few seconds, the bull would disappear and reappear a few meters ahead. 

“Sorry, Kuro Inu,” the ninja cat grabbed him by his collar and threw Kuro Inu across the air with no warning. “What the fuck are you doing?!!!” The samurai yelled as he sailed across the air. Shiro Neko took this chance and watched the bull chase the bait. Even though the bull could teleport, its pattern was rather predictable. He watched the monster for another cycle and accurately predicted the next portal location.

‘There!’ Shiro Neko lunged at the bull with his sword and managed to slice its back. Black blood spurted out of its wound, but not before mustering up all of its energy to open another portal right behind Kuro Inu. Quickly trying to back away from the charging bull, Kuro Inu did not notice the portal behind him and promptly fell into the unknown. Every trace of him disappeared. 

Shiro Neko yelled so loud, his throat burned with the effort. “HIJIKATA!!!!!!”

—————

Kuro Inu was blinded momentarily by a white, hot light before he regained himself. He was still falling, so by instinct, he twisted his body and landed on his feet. “Kurotsuki! Kurotsuki! Are you still there?!” He felt a warm pulsing from his dog tags around his neck. 

“Yes, master. I’m still here. I had re-entered your talisman right before you fell through the portal.”

“Portal? Did that bull send me somewhere else?” He tried to look around but his vision was blocked off by two buildings beside him. He had fallen into an alley. “Come on, let’s find our way back to Shiro Neko and Shiroyasha.” Kuro Inu leaped up and landed back on the rooftop to scan the horizon, only to discover a view very different from the Tokyo skyline he had grown accustomed to. 

Spaceships raced across the skies as a huge skyscraper shot up from the horizon. His eye fell to the streets below him and he grew even more confused. Shops and pedestrians littered the streets, but something felt… off. The stores seemed like they belonged to pastime Japan with all of its hand-painted wooden signs. There were no blinding neon lights scattered across buildings. The people, even more so, were anachronistic. They all wearing yukatas. The men had really committed to the look with the partially shaved heads. But what shocked him most of all were Amanto-like creatures walking so casually among the human civilians. Kuro Inu felt like he had fallen into some kind of weird sci-fi, period drama. Then where were the fucking cameras?

“Kurotsuki, what the hell is going on?” The guardian peered at the scene before him but shook his head in defeat. 

Alright, so Hijikata had to find that damned beast and pummel the answer out of it. Before he could do anything though, he needed to change into something less conspicuous. He was in his modern-day Tokyo outfit, which consisted of a long black turtleneck and black skin-tight jeans. The easiest way to fit in with the crowd was to wear a yukata like them. He jumped back onto the street and perused for the closest clothing store. 

The otherworldly man bought a simple dark blue and olive green yukata and handed the clerk cash as payment. Right as Hijikata left the store in his yukata, the clerk looked down at the 5000 yen bill, finding an unfamiliar figure. “Who the fuck is this?”

Hijikata walked down the street, growing more agitated by the second. How the hell was he supposed to find the bull in this chaos? It was difficult enough trying to find and fight Amanto through the cluttered streets of Tokyo, but this place was so different. He finally swallowed his pride and tapped a random pedestrian on the shoulder. 

“Hey, is this still Tokyo?” 

The man looked at him like he grew two heads. “Tokyo? What are you talking about? This is Edo.” Hijikata’s eyes almost bulged out of its sockets. “Edo?!’ Tokyo hadn’t been called that for at least two hundred years. Was it possible that he was sent to the past?! But then what about the spaceships and the people walking around with literal iPhones?! Were the history books that wrong about past time Japan?!

God, he needed a smoke. He quickly saw a cigarette vending machine and walked to buy a carton. Just as he was about to reach his destination, a hand pulled him by the back of his collar and into a dark alleyway. He felt a warm presence wrap their arms around him and pulling him flush against their body. A hand covered Hijikata’s eyes from discovering the identity of his mysterious attacker. “What the fu—“

“Toshi~ How come you didn’t tell me you were coming back early from your work trip?” The voice was unmistakable as it whispered hotly into his ear. What the hell was Sakata Gintoki doing here in this strange place and why the hell was he calling Hijikata by his first name?! 

Without warning, Gintoki turned Hijikata around and pushed him up against the wall, pinning his arms. Hijikata stood speechless at the man staring at him with burning ruby eyes. “Toshi… I missed you a lot, you know.” The way he said his name sent a chill through his spine, making Hijikata shiver. It seemed so intimate and heated, like his passion could burn through their clothes. 

“What are you doing, you bastard?!” 

Gintoki looked slightly taken aback by the insult. “Oh, are we back to this stage of our relationship? Or are you just playing hard to get?” 

Back?! When did they move forward with this so-called relationship?! Before he could say anything else, Gintoki’s lips crashed onto the Hijikata’s. He easily sucked and nibbled Hijikata’s unguarded, soft lips. Impatient that Hijikata was playing some inane game of hard to get, he bit into the man’s bottom lip, earning an unadulterated moan. The shocked man had no time to react as Gintoki took this opportunity to force his tongue into his mouth. The white-haired man’s expert tongue pushed and swirled around Hijikata’s own. With zero experience in anything physical, Hijikata could do nothing but be overtaken by this new, hot and passionate sensation. The inexperienced man couldn’t even remember a time when he was kissed with one-tenth of the passion Gintoki was kissing him with.

With Gintoki’s relentless attack on his lips, Hijikata hadn’t noticed the hot hand slipping into his yukata and sliding up his legs. Unconsciously, Hijikata spread his legs to allow Gintoki to sink deeper into his heat. 

Suddenly, a shocked gasp was heard not long before the swing of a sword separated Gintoki from Hijikata. The white-haired man fell a couple of feet away as a menacing figure loomed above him. 

When Hijikata opened his eyes, he found his exact replica. The truth finally came crashing down onto him. This strange yet familiar cityscape. Gintoki’s _ very _weird behavior. His own body double seething in front of him with a cigarette in his mouth. This was an alternate universe! The Amanto had literally transported him to another world! 

The Hijikata in front of him bared his teeth at the stupefied Gintoki on the floor. “You’re kissing another man?!?!”

For some reason, that sentence hit Hijikata like a freight train, even more so than his discovery that he had landed in another world. He looked between his other self and Gintoki. “You two are together?!”

Gintoki felt like his head was going to split open, trying to comprehend the double vision of pissed off Hijikatas. “_ Please, _one angry tsundere at a time!!” 

The other Hijikata, which will be referred to as Toshi for convenience sake, was one second away from murdering his so-called boyfriend on the spot, but a hand reached out to him to put his sword down. “Who the hell do you think you are…?” Toshi had been _ this _ close to committing a double homicide when he found his lover cheating on him with another man, but his murderous rage was quickly replaced with confusion. He was staring at his reflection. He reached out a hand to pull at Hijikata’s cheeks, only for his hand to be slapped away. 

“Oi, that hurts, you bastard!” Hijikata rubbed his swollen cheek, feeling a bit weird that he was cursing himself out. “Before you go swinging your sword again, you need to know that I accidentally ended up here from an alternate universe. This bull-like Amanto tackled me into a portal that spat me out into your world.”

Toshi’s eyebrows furrowed. “Wait, did this bull only have one horn?”

“Yea, how did you know that?”

“The Shinsengumi was sent to the mountains for the past two weeks to capture an Amanto fitting that description. It was wreaking havoc in the towns at the base of the mountains. Apparently, it used to be a god there with strange powers, but some parasite had infected it. I had managed to get close enough to chop off one of its horns before jumping into a portal and disappearing out of my sight. We couldn’t find any trace of it after that, so we assumed it had just disappeared.”

“Could it possibly an Amanto?”

Gintoki finally picked himself off the ground and joined the conversation. “That would be weird. I haven’t heard of any Amanto like that. We manage to begrudgingly coexist with the Amanto here. Wait, even though you’re from another world, you still have Amantos where you’re at?”

Hijikata nodded. “Yes. But where I’m from, Amanto hasn’t invaded Japan to the scale that I see here. They are parasites that infect humans by feasting on their negative energy and causing more. The Amanto take the form of a golden butterfly and curse an object belonging to the owner.” Hijikata thought back to the bull and remembered the bell around its collar. “I think the Amanto from my world somehow managed to merge with yours.” 

Toshi nodded, absorbing his words. “What can we do to defeat it?”

“Well, my partner, Shiro Neko, is the one who purifies the victims of the Amanto, but he’s still in my world.”

Suddenly, a thought entered Gintoki’s head and he derailed the conversation with his curiosity. “Wait, is there another version of me in your world? What is _ your _ Gintoki like?”

“My Gintoki is…” Hijikata wanted to gag as he referred to that bastard as his, “an idiot,” he finished nonchalantly. Gintoki looked utterly devastated while Toshi shook his head, saying “figures.”

Toshi brought the two back to the matter at hand. “I think the bull is still looking for the horn I cut off of it. Maybe we can attract it and capture it.” A terse silence of consideration passes as everyone brainstormed possible ways to trap the raging Amanto.

Growing bores rather quickly, Gintoki looked between the two black-haired tsunderes. “Are you two going to make out now?”

Hijikata was absolutely flabbergasted by such a crass suggestion, while Toshi cracked his knuckles, indicating that Gintoki was in for it now.

  
Toshi grabbed Gintoki by his collar and dragged him unceremoniously out of the alleyway as Hijikata followed. “I’m sorry, Hijikata, but I have something unrelated to _ discuss _ with Gintoki here.”

The Shinsengumi officer pointed to a small rice bowl shop ahead of them. “Hijikata, can you give us 15 minutes? Here’s some money for a meal. Just walk in there and order the Hijikata special.”

Hijikata was taken aback by the sudden change in plans as he watched his counterpart drag Gintoki and disappeared around the corner. Was he going to murder him or something? Whatever the case, Hijikata took him up on his offer of a free meal. The special turned out to be a rice bowl topped with a whole lot of mayo. The man beamed. It appeared that his love for mayo was so strong it transcended universes. 

Once Hijikata finished his meal and offered thanks to the shop owner, Toshi and Gintoki came back to the agreed meeting place, looking oddly… refreshed. The two were practically glowing as Gintoki placed his arm around Toshi’s shoulder. While the chain-smoker grumbled, he did nothing to remove the arm. 

Hijikata couldn’t help but blush at the intimacy between the two men. Since he knew himself, and by extension Toshi, very well, he understood that this was his way of allowing public display of affection. While to other onlookers, it looked like the officer was barely tolerating the white-haired man’s existence, Hijikata knew that this was basically Toshi’s version of basically making out with his significant other. Somehow Hijikata knew that they definitely weren’t just _ discussing _things during their break. 

Gintoki drew Hijikata out of his revelry. “Come on, let’s split up and try to lure the bull into our trap.” The two black-haired men nodded. 

————

After hours of searching, Hijikata was completely exhausted. As more sunlight left the horizon, more of his hope went with it. Just how long was he going to be trapped in this universe. He did the only thing he could think of: he screamed at the top of his lungs in frustration. 

“COME ON, YOU STUPID COW!! DON’T YOU WANT YOUR HORN BACK?!”

Hijikata transformed into Kuro Inu in a flash and began his search for this most troublesome Amanto with new vigor. Kurotsuki was at his side and began sniffing the air for clues. He pointed in the direction of a large tower that resembled Tokyo Tower. 

“Did you really sense something here, Kurotsuki?” Hijikata looked around for any sort of clues to no avail. 

“It’s as if the bull’s presence is behind a wall that I cannot peer through,” replied his canine guardian. Suddenly, the two heard a bell, but no matter where they looked they couldn’t see anything. 

“Hijikata-sama, focus on your sixth sense and develop your second sight. You may see something we’re both missing with our plain, naked eyes.” 

Hijikata inhaled a deep breath and truly focused. He saw flashes of Shiro Neko chasing the bull for hours back in their world. That must be it! The reason they can’t find the bull was because he wasn’t in this world to begin with. They needed to draw it back while simultaneously helping Shiro Neko deal the final blow. 

Once Hijikata was sure, he called Toshi and Gintoki over to discuss his discovery. Before the could even ask about this black outfit or this black wolf that appeared out of nowhere, Hijikata quickly interrupted them by asking “Toshi, may you give me the horn?” Toshi quickly acquiesced, throwing it over. Hijikata planted it at his feet and brought out his spear, pressing the tip into the bull horn. Light emanated from the cracks, showing that this bull still had magic imbued in it. 

Suddenly, a portal opened up in front of him and Kuro Inu froze at the sight. A muscular bull almost pierced his heart with its horn if Gintoki hadn’t pushed Hijikata away just in time. Gintoki tossed the horn to Toshi, and the man dashed towards the tower. 

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yea, I think I just saw something through the portal,” exclaimed Kuro Inu. A flash of white under the starry night sky. There was no doubt about it! It was only a glimpse, but he was sure Shiro Neko was right on the other side! 

Kuro Inu dashed forward, surpassing Toshi in record time. “Toshi, throw me the horn!” Once he caught it, a portal opened up in front of him and a familiar voice carried across it. 

Shiro Neko was inwardly jumping for joy, even though he attempted to keep a straight demeanor. But he couldn’t do that for long. Oh, the hell with it. 

“Kuro Inu, you’re—“ The portal cut off as the bull fully entered this universe. Kuro Inu threw the coveted horn at Gintoki as the beast had gotten too close. 

At Gintoki’s foot, another portal split the ground. “—alive!! Wait, what the fu—“ Shiro Neko was undoubtedly confused with finding his literal twin on the other side of the portal. 

With only seconds to spare between the cycle of portals, the trio chanted “Tokyo Tower!!” hoping that Shiro Neko would get the plan. 

They somehow manage to play a long game of catch with the murderous, rampaging bull and ended the chase at the base of the tower. When the bull finally arrived again through its portal, Kuro Inu set their plan in motion. 

Kuro Inu noticed that with each jump, the portal lag was increasing due to the strain the teleporting bull was experiencing. As the bull was just about to complete its jump, he threw its horn through the portal. 

Now the bull had to force the portal to stay open to retrieve its precious horn. “Now!” Toshi commanded. At once, Toshi and Kuro Inu grabbed each of the bull’s leg while Gintoki grabbed the tail. They struggled with great effort to slow this rampaging bull down. 

Kuro Inu caught a glimpse of his partner on the other side. “Shiro Neko, the bell! Break the bell!!”

Shiro Neko wasted no time in breaking the cursed object and releasing the bull from the Amanto’s parasitic hold. With his purification power, everything went back to normal. Even the broken horn magically mended back onto the bull’s head. 

Now not blinded by its rage and darkness, the bull calmed down and opened a stable portal large enough for Kuro Inu to walk through. Although Hijikata had grown a bit fond of this strange world and it’s even stranger people, he couldn’t wait to get back to his real home. He bid adieu to his new friends and walked back to Shiro Neko’s side. 

“Bye,” he smiled fondly at the odd couple, “Thanks for everything. Good luck with...whatever it is between the two of you.”

Gintoki watched Hijikata go, feeling a bit disheartened. Suddenly, he caught his lover by surprise with an unrestrained hug. “I know it wasn’t you, but it still felt like I had to say goodbye to you.”

Toshi gave him one of his rare smiles. He carded just fingers through Gintoki’s soft locks. “I’m not going anywhere, you idiot.” 

Gintoki placed a chaste kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. “Too bad he couldn’t have stayed a little longer. I would have invited him to a three wa—“

“Go die, you bastard!!!” Toshi shoved his idiotic lover off the tower, wondering which God cursed him with Gintoki’s existence. 

Back to the main heroes, Kuro Inu whispered another thank you to the bull spirit before it disappeared once more. The starry night beamed happily at the Tokyo skyline he knew and loved. He turned to glance at Shiro Neko, expecting him to ask a thousand questions about where he had been, but the man remained oddly silent. Perhaps he was too tired after that long and difficult battle. 

“It seems you’re too tired to talk. I can brief you on what happened the next time we meet.” Kuro Inu moved to jump off the tower but before he could do so, he found strong arms wrapping around his side, not allowing him to move another inch. Shiro Neko's chest pressed tightly against Kuro Inu’s back, his heat wrapping around him.

“What—“

“I thought you had died.”

Kuro Inu heard a distinct beeping from Shiro Neko’s bracelet. “Shiro Neko, your transformation is about to—“

It was too late, he felt the clothes shifting behind his back, but Shiro Neko refused to budge. Kuro Inu could now feel his partner’s unmasked face digging into the back of his neck, taking in his scent. He felt his face set ablaze. The canine hero shut his eyes tight, not daring to see who Shiro Neko really was. 

They stood there in silence as the two bathed in each other’s warmth under the glistening light of the moon. Kuro Inu found Shiro Neko’s heat to be _ very _ familiar. Like he had just experienced it mere hours ago in the arms of someone much like him in the alternate universe. 

“Gintoki…?” The name tumbled out of his lips before he had a chance to stop it. 

“You finally figured it out. What took you so long, Hijikata?”

With no facade to protect them now, Kuro Inu turned around and faced the red-eyed stare of Gintoki. “When did— How did you—?”

“Does it really matter?”

Kuro Inu whispered the magic words and he was Hijikata in front of his hero. Usually, his blindfold would hide his emotions, but he could hide nothing as his longing gaze fell upon Gintoki. 

Gintoki lifted Hijikata’s chin tenderly. “May I kiss you know?”

Hijikata smiled haughtily, with a hint of sweetness. “What took you so long?” Gintoki swooped down to steal a tender kiss from his partner, hero, rival, friend, and if Hijikata would allow it, his _ lover _. 

_ The End. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those sticking out this super fun, yet ridiculous crack fic with me!! I had a lot of fun indulging in my current Miraculous Ladybug obsession. Also wanted to write it because GinHiji would look so cool with a wolf and tiger familiar. 
> 
> As always, thank you for any kudos and comments! I always greatly appreciate it!

**Author's Note:**

> Here's some translation just in case:  
Kuro Inu - Black Dog  
Shiro Neko - White Cat  
Kurotsuki - Black Moon  
Shiroyasha - White Demon 
> 
> Lol I know their pet names are cooler than their super hero names, but it's a spoof.


End file.
